Ditto the Beagle

Besides the fact that I haven’t updated my blog in months, there is something else not right…

For the past two nights my parents have been gone and they have been replaced by my so called “grandparents.” These “grandparents” do not let me sleep in the bed with them, which is confusing to me, because it is MY bed and they are simply guests in my house. They also seem more focused on the small human and taking care of her. It is very disturbing.

The parents better return soon and they will pay for their misdeeds…

My human sister and I are really getting along well these days. Every night she comes home from school and sits in the tall chair to eat her dinner. Most of the time she will eat a piece of food and then throw me a piece of food. Sometimes she’ll even put her hand out to give me the food so I don’t even have to make an effort at all. She thinks it’s real funny, but Mom and Dad don’t think it’s funny at all. Sometimes they put me in another room that I can’t get out of.

I think this is the start of a great relationship between my human sister and me. Whenever she is tired of eating she will simply give the food to me to keep it from going to waste. And since I am never tired of eating, it works out perfectly.

My human sister is really tormenting me. Mom and Dad finally caught the torment on film. I will be submitting this to the Humane Society for follow up. Here is the evidence:

I can only type for a few minutes. Otherwise the stranger in my house will figure out what I’m doing. It’s the same human who has come here a couple other times to take care of my human sister. This time it’s for all day, though! I am keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn’t do anything she isn’t supposed to. My sister seems to be very happy that she is here. I am not.

Stay tuned. I will begin to plot my coup shortly.

Tomorrow I have to go to the bad place. Mom and Dad said my teeth are dirty and that they need cleaned. I don’t really get it. My teeth seem fine. I use them to eat at least twice a day without any trouble at all. They said I will be gone all day, which is sad.

It’s getting really cold out. I try to stay under the covers of the bed as long as possible in the mornings now.

I’m not sure what is going on but I heard Mom and Dad talking about how a babysitter is coming tomorrow night to watch my human sister. They said something about me being nice to this babysitter or I have to go in my cage. All I can say is that I am nice to people who I like and not nice to people I don’t. And most people I don’t like, so I am not nice to them. If this babysitter gives me cookies and is nice to my human sister, I’m sure I will not try to attack them.

The power has been out at our house since I got home. Mom and Dad are real annoyed, but I don’t really mind. It’s much quieter with the power out and I can sleep more peacefully. My human sister seems to like it too. She has been sleeping real well. The best part, though, is that they can’t give me a bath because there is no hot water. It makes me so happy!

Mom and Dad dropped me off at the kennel last week and I’m still here! For some reason I have to stay here a long time because they are going on vacation and to see my Great Grandma in Florida. This place isn’t so bad, but I prefer my house.

Mom and Dad put some new pictures up of my little sister and I’m in a few. I look good, as usual. You can see them by clicking here.

I was being punished by Mom and Dad for being bad so haven’t been able to post for awhile. They haven’t been paying enough attention to me so I’ve been peeing in random places. Just the other night they made me get off the bed while I was in a deep sleep because they had to change the sheets. When they put me down I discreetly peed on their pillows and they didn’t realize it until Mom picked one of the wet pillows up. I found it to be hilarious.

Stay tuned for more updates on my poor behavior. This weekend a ton of people are coming to my house and I am going to tear it up.

A chipmunk has started to really torment me lately. He lives underneath the deck of our house and fairly often he comes up on the deck and just sits there, staring at me. Of course, I can’t get to him most of the time because the door is closed, so all I can do is sit there and whine and get angrier and angrier at this invasion of my territory. Mom won’t ever let me know because she knows that I’ll squash him. Dad does let me out sometimes because he thinks the chipmunk is faster than me and I’ll never catch him.

One day, little chipmunk, you will be mine….